Top 10 Dad Jokes for Father's Day
It’s almost Father’s Day, the day where children young and old pay tribute to their goofiest and most embarrassing parental unit.
For many of us, Dad was the first person in our lives to play a practical joke or lighten the mood with a punny one-liner. How many of us told our dads that we were hungry only to be met with “Nice to meet you, Hungry. I’m Hungry’s Dad.”
It was infuriatingly hilarious.
So, this week, Rumor’s Comedy Club — the best comedy club in Winnipeg — is paying tribute to the dads of Winnipeg with this list of the top 10 best (worst?) dad jokes. Enjoy.
Rumor’s favorite Dad jokes
These dad jokes are the most reliable groaners/eye-rollers getting passed around today.
1. A father was puttering around the garage when his son walked in, startling him, and causing him to spill his whiskey. His son pointed to a small ladder on the wall and asked his dad, “what’s that?” His father said, “That's my step ladder.” His son thought for a moment, and then asked, “Where’s your real ladder?”. Without hesitation, the man said, “He walked out on us when I was a baby.”
2. It was bedtime, and a Dad was telling his daughter a bedtime story about Captain Cutler, a famous pirate with a peg-leg, an eye-patch, and a hook for a hand. After a few minutes, the young girl stopped her dad mid-sentence and said, “Daddy, where do pirates get their hook hands?”. Her father looked down to his dear daughter and said, “Why, at a second-hand store, of course.”
3. A teenager returned home from walking the family dog one afternoon, when her dad walked into the room. He noticed that the girl was inspecting the dog for injuries. The dad asked what happened, and the teen said that she’d taken the dog on a walk by a nearby pond and that a group of ducks kept nipping at the dog. “It’s probably because the dog is pure bread!” said the dad.
4. A disappointed teen arrived home with his father. His mother met them in the driveway, and asked why the teen was so sad. The teen explained that it wasn’t depression, but that he’d failed his driver's test after he hit a stop sign. The boy’s father quickly took responsibility for the incident, saying “It’s all my fault. I only gave him a crash course.”
5. A second-grader returned home from a day of school excited to tell his dad a new joke he had heard at recess. He said, “Hey, dad, dad! What’s brown and sticky?” His dad thought for a moment, then looked at his son and said, “A stick,” and left the room.
6. One evening a father was having a heart-to-heart with his two adult children about some serious topics, like death. They talked about his will and what to do if he was ever in the hospital. Then one of the children asked where he wanted to be buried. The father quickly said “I want to be cremated.”
“Why?” asked one of his kids.
“I’ve always wanted to have a smoking hot bod’.”
7. A well-intentioned family was walking through the park looking for a place to have a nice family picnic. The youngest child suggested that they lay their picnic blanket under a nearby tree. The dad inspected the tree from afar, and said “I don’t trust that tree.” The child asked why, and the dad said, “Seems a little shady.”
8. A family was having a nice Father’s Day barbecue in their backyard. The dad opened the cooler and asked if anybody wanted a drink. His young son said, “I’d like a cola!”,so the dad tossed him a can. But, the boy was very bad at sports, so he missed the throw, and the can hit him in the head. The dad said, “Sorry, son! Good thing it was a soft drink!"
9. A teen was sitting at the kitchen island eating a bowl of teen cereal, when his dad entered the kitchen and looked at the calendar on the wall. After a moment, the dad said, “Uh oh, I don’t like the looks of this!”
“What’s wrong?” asked the cereal-eating teen.
“According to this calendar, our days are numbered.”
10. Two children, eight and nine years old, turned the television to a live performance of the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra. When their father walked into the room, he saw what they were watching and he said “Oh, no, you two turn that off right now!” The children asked why, and the father said “That program has too much sax and violins.”
More: Comedians coming to Winnipeg this summer
Celebrate your dad at Rumor’s Comedy Club
Rumor’s Comedy Club is the best place to check out stand-up comedy in Winnipeg. If your dad has a great sense of humor, why not grab him some tickets to an upcoming show as a Father’s Day gift. Just check out our up-coming events calendar to see who’s performing, and book your tickets now online or by calling 204-488-4520.
We’ve got everything a dad could want in a comedy club — a full dinner menu, a great drink selection, and the best touring comedians in the business. So, if you’re looking for things to do in Winnipeg this Father’s Day, come on down to Rumor’s Comedy Club.